Monday, February 10, 2014

To my upstairs neighbors...

Dear Sun Fearing People, 

It seems as though you do not get enough time outside during the day.  May I suggest an outside location, a gym or around the parking lot as an awesome new location for you to complete the laps that you seem to run at 9pm each night.  I can not even imagine how exhausted you must be after completing MILES each day. If you are not aware walking around your apartment dropping what could only be described as the heaviest furniture EVER, is a job that should be completed during the daytime hours, using a professional, perhaps. If you need help rearranging furniture, I could refer the group of men who just moved me into this fine establishment.  You may be unaware that as residents we can submit maintenance request via the apartment's website.  This will allow you to submit your request for new carpet.  New carpet will surely relieve you of having to use your vacuum cleaner EVERY night between the hours of 11pm and midnight.  If for some reason there is nothing wrong with your carpet but it is your vacuum cleaner that only works after sun down, please allow me to share my amazing Dyson with you.  Using such a high tech vacuum will allow you to only have to vacuum your VERY MASSIVE thousand square foot apartment once a week or once every other week.  If there is anything else that I can do to help you cope with your fear of living during the daytime hours, please feel free to holla at me, literally, I CAN HEAR YOU!!!

Thank you in advance -

Your (too old for apartment living) downstairs (stay at home mom with nothing better to do) 

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