Monday, October 29, 2012

if you LOVE it...

Trying to decide what you want to be when you grow up is such a hard task.  At 18 years old and with a new found freedom, I just think it’s too hard to decide.  There is no way to know what curves life will send your way. 
 We make these decisions that do not really seem LIFE changing and then suddenly they are. 
I have a true passion for design, architecture, art and the general idea that all of these creative outlets provide the beautiful backdrop to our lives.  The homes that we live in and create become a true home for our families.  Our neighborhoods, each and every quirky house and driveway, make our neighborhoods the desirable place we want to live and raise our families.  I LOVE everything about it.  My love for details such as front doors, siding, paint colors and crown molding took me to Ai where I turned my passion into an education.  The problem was that I couldn't predict the future or the down fall of the housing boom.  {Unfortunate for my wallet too!}
The timing of this blow up happened to be around the time my fantastic CAT-5 decided to enter this world.  I took some time off, decided driving to Atlanta and working 40+ hours a week probably wouldn’t cut it with my new found mommy hood.  So, I took the “convenient” job.   For my family, it works perfectly…for my career not so much.  I really didn’t mind, I chugged along while my husband worked his way through school and up the ladder.  But you can really only chug for so long.   After some serious contemplating I decided to change careers and head back to school.  Turn my interest in children and education into a career.  Teaching; balancing both a career and time with my daughter, the perfect choice. 
{There was MUCH consideration into this career no hate mail please}
Here is where the problem lies.  I somehow manage to always have a “project” going; a client here and there, handmade costumes, the gift house, or a wedding.  After successful completion of these projects I always hear “you so missed your calling.”  But the problem is I didn’t miss my calling, I went for my calling and my dream, but for my family it just did not work.  So I kind of got into a funk, MIA on the blog, MIA on posting pics, down on my job and school.  I started to really resent the opportunities that I had been given.  I started having a bad attitude about school, but wait I love school and I chose to go back to school.  What was my problem?
That’s when I realized…If you love something, {sometimes} you have to let it go…

And that’s what I have done; I am not giving up on my design career altogether.  But I can’t have/do it all.  I chose my current path and if design is right for me it will come back.  When I have time and when it is right for my family.

 Letting it go! 

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